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He would climb up her trunk and swing from her branches and eat apples.

Posted on 2006.11.28 at 05:03
Current Location: my dad's office.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Holy Dread!
My sister turned me into a cripple for a few days.

She was being a stubborn ass as usual, and I told her to go to her room. And again, as usual, she didn't listen to me. What usually happens next is me capitalizing on the extreme size difference between us and picking her up and calmly carrying her, usually kicking and screaming, to her room.

But this time was different, because she got the brilliant idea of grabbing the side of the fridge on the way out of the kitchen, and throwing off my balance, sending the full weight of me plus fifteen year old girl down on my ankle.

I've been limping around with a cane since yesterday. It's doing better, but work from 12-6 tomorrow will probably reverse all my recovery.

I am considering looking into telemarketing as a new temporary job.

I've been thinking about death a lot lately.

I have. And a lot of people are upset about it, surprisingly enough.

Unsurprising? Well, it surprised me.

I am fascinated by the topic of death, but it's nothing morbid. It's one of those big, universally human issues, and how we deal with it can affect the course and quality of our lives.

It kind of shocks me how merely by talking about the subject, people assume that I am both suicidal and depressed, neither of which I am. It stuns me how people are so afraid to even think about this subject, no, not even afraid, the consider it wrong to even think about.

Of course, I am appalled whenever real thought about an issue is discouraged, as per my nature.

Today, my mother's co-facilitator at work, a lady named D'Ann Schlueter, had a brain aneurysm, which she didn't even know existed, rupture while she was driving her car.

The ensuing car accident would have been enough to kill her alone. She will either die tonight in intensive care, or she will live in a persistent vegetative state.

I knew D'Ann well, so it's not the sort of impersonal feeling you get from hearing something like that on the news.

Having said that, a lot of people are surprised "How well I took it". I mean, I have been comforting my mother, because one of her best friends is or is going to die, depending on how you define death, but I have been meditating on death for a long time, and while the way her life ended might be atypical, thinking about these issues often has left me prepared enough that when something like this happens, I tend to be more contemplative than emotionally disrupted, and that seems to take people aback.

I can understand why that might confuse someone who knew me superficially, but someone who knows me deeply has no excuse.

Anyway, so I am curious about your own thoughts on death and dying.

Comments:


Brandon
branjohnm at 2006-11-28 14:26 (UTC) (Link)
I think about dead sometimes too. Most of the time I'm like, if it has to happen, I'm ready. Other times I'm like, well, if I'm going to die, what am I doing all this for? education, work, blah, blah, I don't know. I concern myself with what is really worth it sometimes.
Jared Bowers
boykooties at 2006-11-29 01:16 (UTC) (Link)

Even the best of things must come to an end, but also the worst things must, too...

Impermanence is a ubiquitous property of all existence.
Blake
greypaw at 2006-11-28 20:51 (UTC) (Link)
I think it's normal to think about death a bit.

Lately I had an idea about it. I guess it was spurred by the whole idea of "humans being methods of conveyence for genes which want to reproduce" as being our main motivation for acting. Then I was thinking, if that's true, I wonder if cells really just want to stay alive as long as they can. I began thinking about, on what level could a human cell from any part of the body keep on living after the rest of the body dies? Could a skin cell reproduce itself to stay alive? How long after the body dies to the last cells of the body take to decay, still futilely acting and re-acting with their environment, trying to keep themselves in one piece... They might not be conscious, each one little more than computer programs, but still. What if.

Generally, I don't have that much of an opinion about death as a phenomenon that happens to me. I think I might find some relief in it, but worrying about it too much doesn't fit with me. Everyone dies sometime, likely a by-product of our universes' natural state of entropy. Once you're dead, the world as we know it is left behind, so there's no sense in worrying about it now when the two don't correlate all that much. As for what comes after:
-If there is nothing, no loss, no gain, no regrets... no anything really...
-If Catholocism is right, at least I can die knowing I made people happy and tried to leave the world in a slightly better condition.
-Same goes for reincarnation via Hinduism and Buddhism.
-As for the other pan-theistic religions... I dunno. I guess I'd have to roll with the punches there.

I'm torn about the idea of an afterlife. I don't really have any FAITH in it. Honstly, if it's there, it's there. If not, I won't really have the capacity to reflect on it NOT being there.

If I had to pick a way to go, I'd say in my sleep would be my top choice.
Jared Bowers
boykooties at 2006-11-29 01:10 (UTC) (Link)
Bone cells live for 3-5 years after we "die" and are the last pieces of our stock to shuffle off the mortal coil.

I think if we are viewed as vehicles for informational units that replicate, we are way more on the meme side of things than the genes side of things, which I think goes a lot further in explaining some of our weirder behaviors as humans.

As someone who has made a whole big deal out of studying consciousness scientifically, while I'm in no position the assert whether there is an afterlife or not, scientifically, I would say that reincarnation strikes me as a very natural idea, while the classical western islamo-christian heaven/hell dichotomy strikes me as rather contrived. From my own scientific perspective, there would need to be some mechanism by which it could possibly work, "faith" notwithstanding, and I can see that possibly for some schemes, but not for others.
Blake
greypaw at 2006-11-29 03:58 (UTC) (Link)
I guess I always felt it was kind of pretentious/presumptious to assume an afterlife just because of our status at the top of the food chain. I suppose you could argue intelligence, though really all we have is language. Plenty of other critters are more or less self-aware, at least insofar as we are.
Jared Bowers
boykooties at 2006-11-29 14:43 (UTC) (Link)
*All* we have is language?

I think I just felt Shakespeare roll over in his grave.

Language is practically a quantum leap forward, even if only because it enables the development of culture, even though it actually enables a lot more.

Having said that, of course, you're talking to a vegan animal rights nut, and I'm one of the last of us to be anthropocentric: there are several reasons to believe we might not have the monopoly on language that we once imagined we did, from a range of animal studies that have been conducted in the last half-century, although the really impressive stuff hadn't shown up until the last few years.
Blake
greypaw at 2006-11-29 16:34 (UTC) (Link)
Coco the gorilla posessed rudimentary sign-language to express herself. Language in the animal kindgom isn't all THAT far-fetched. Albeit she was taught.

Also:
Jared Bowers
boykooties at 2006-11-30 00:00 (UTC) (Link)
I'm actually way more impressed by the recent work with african gray parrots at the MIT Media lab than I am with any of the primate studies, which isn't to suggest the primate studies are unimpressive, either.
Ms. Mary Magoo
maryanjelluvsu at 2006-11-29 05:59 (UTC) (Link)
I have no intellectual thought.
I just Ithought I would say.
FUCK I MISS YOU
Jared Bowers
boykooties at 2006-11-29 14:45 (UTC) (Link)
I miss you too.

I have to work 10:30am to 5pm today, it kind of sucks massive amounts of cock.

But my leg is doing better, and I can walk on it, so all is good I guess.
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